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coming home today. i'm excited and sad and tired of packing things. but i really should get back to doing that, i have my room checkout deal in 2 hours so okay.

Procrastination Pays

I'm currently avoiding my 1960's paper with every ounce of effort I can spare.  I should really probably go do some work on it, but it just seems obnoxious on this beautiful day.  I've been getting really excited to go home for the summer lately.  I love it here but it's been a long time since I've been home for a legit amount of time and I think I'm starting to wear down.  I'll be really really sad to leave though.  I signed up for my check out time...11:30, Friday the 29th, then lunch, then class, then home, then Kevin Devine. Yay!

Anyway, last weekend was pretty much wonderful.  Friday night Second City came and they were wonderful and then we watched the first installment of the 6 hour colin firth! version of pride and prejudice.  Saturday was our clarinet gathering and delicious (and free) food followed by Star Trek for the second time followed by failed attempts to visit the shadiest of sex shops in downtown bloomington. Sunday was Cracker Barrel followed by the park which ended in me driving allison's car through the park while she stood out of the sunroof screaming. I really will miss this place over the summer.

also, did you know that apparently on august 27th, mars and earth are going to pass so close to each other in orbit that mars will look about the same size as the moon in the sky? epic...i'm watching!

I want I want I want

Today in my 60's class we listened to about an hour worth of protest songs and I loved it.  It makes me really want to dig into all the music from the time.  I have this feeling of wanting to dig deeper into everything I do lately.  Not necessarily a changing of what i'm doing, more like trying to draw the essence of every experience out of it, even if it's pretty mundane.  I also want to keep discovering more and more literature and music as rapidly as I possibly can.  I used to like to stick to the same old things over and over again, especially music, because it made me comfortable, but now I want to learn and grow and expand musically. And I want to get better at balancing myself with friends and aloneness.  I feel like I either have to get wrapped up in people or I have to withdraw completely, and I really want a happy medium.

So basically that was just a vague list of I wants. I'm pretty fine with that.

mayyyyy

may term started yesterday and it's really nice so far.  sitting in class for three hours in a row isn't the most fun thing ever, but i have so much free time for friendship and working out and it's really exciting.  my class is pretty good too, it's on the 1960's and our professor is a little bit crazy and awesome. 

also, the puppy is so cute and i miss him. 

also, excited for tai, friendship and william beckett is never a bad combination

also, the weather is bipolar today, just like relient k, but i'm pretty sure i'm in a just fine mood, so that's a bonus

Driving

Can I just say how much i love driving on highways at night.  It is fucking wonderful.  There is no prettier way I could have put that, it's fucking wonderful, nothing else.  I love smooth dark roads with almost no one on them and going fast and listening to music and that's all you hear and everything is so contained and open at the same time. Again, fucking wonderful.

On to real life instead of amy babble about nothing...Elmhurst was cool. Saw a couple of bands at the chapel, the first one was adorable and well dressed, the second one was a little off, but i'm told they're normally more normal.  We skipped out before the talk about racism, but it turns out we should have stayed because apparently there was an attempted recreation of "I have a dream."  Anyway, after that was several episodes of queers with megan, katie, and liz.  Liz's first queer as folk episode ended up being the one where Ted goes to the Paradise Motel for a shady sex party. Welcome to queers, liz, hope you like naked gay men doing meth while having sex on a weird sling-like apparatus. 

This week has been good. Having no homework is the best thing of my life, I can't wait til summer....no homework, no problems.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Done with finals! I'm so happy and free feeling since yesterday when I got done, it's wonderful.  Anyway, the original plan was for me to come home this afternoon, but Brianna isn't coming back for mayterm, so this is my last time to hang out with her before summer, so I decided to chill here another night.  Plus the packing was slow.  I'm trying to pack everything that I wont need for may and bring it home with me now so everything isn't awful when i have to leave after mayterm. 

This weekend has been wonderful so far.  We keep going out on the quad and doing nothing.  We went for like an hour yesterday and then another hour and a half today and it made me feel awesomely alive.  Also, possibility that I got a slight amount of tan laying on the quad today?!??? Last night we playing "never have i..." with kool aid bottles instead of alcohol, baked a red velvet cake, and watched a few episodes of entourage.  Tonight we're planning on "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days" cause we haven't watched a tacky romantic comedy in forever and then whatever follows.  This is the first weekend about a month that I've been at school that hasn't involved any drunken escapades and I kind of like it.  I like drunken escapades too mostly, but sometimes it's nice to just stay in and curl up with some popcorn and friendship. 

Excited to go home tomorrow. Yay for me and Megan going to random places on Indian Trail for hopefully fun times. 
 

Lolla

THE LOLLA LINEUP IS AWESOME! Seriously, it almost made me cry when I saw it. Three day pass, please and thank you. 

2009.lollapalooza.com/

Ew

I haven't written a blog in forever, but this will be short.  I'm really frustrated and grumpy today.  I feel like I'm being kind of bitchy and awful to people so I'm trying to leave them alone but that might be making my mood worse.   I keep trying to get through my writing tutoring journal and I can't focus so what should have taken an hour has now taken more than 2. Awesome. On a brighter side, I'm finally listening the Maria Taylor I stole from the Elmhurst radio and it's pretty good so far. 

pandora

I should NOT use pandora anymore. It's so good and then I get confused and want to buy too much new music that I don't have the money for and then I get sad that I can't have that music. Overall, doesn't work out.
I'm in one of those moods where I just don't know what to do with myself.  There are times in my life when I feel so damn grateful for everything I've been given and it feels like everything I have is exactly what I need and I am so blessed. And I am blessed. But then I get into these moods where I want more and more and more from life but I don't know what that more is.  It's like I think that there's some fix out there that will snap me out of these moods and make me automatically happy, if only I could discover it.  And I have always believed it is out there.  But now I'm not that sure.  What if that cure for all my restlessness isn't out there?  I guess that wouldn't be that bad.  It's just weird to think about for some reason. I'm not sure if I'm even making sense right now, so I think I'm done. Sorry for the failure at self-expression that just occurred.